You know what’s awesome?  “Private Eyes” by Hall & Oates.  Don’t even front, girl; you know that shit is tight.

My friend Lauren let me stay at her place for a couple of weeks while she was house-sitting.  It was awesome. I had a bed and an oven and freezer that didn’t quite work, but kept food perfectly cool.  Unlike the refrigerator, which kept food warm.

But the best part was her record collection.  I got to listen to a whole bunch of stuff my butthole tendencies kept me from enjoying for far too long.  Like that “Private Eyes” record.  Holy shit, it’s just hit after hit.

There’s really so much to like about that record.  First of all, it only barely sounds like an 80’s pop album.  To my ears, it has way more in common with soul and rhythm and blues.  That second song on side A sounds like Motown.

Those Hall &Oates dudes were the real deal.  They can turn any lyrical phrase into an unforgettable hook, which would be more than enough for me.  But they also manage to write plenty of great, insightful, clever lyrics.  And the liner notes reveal they produced the record and played a lot of the extra instruments themselves.  So they’re super musical.

In other news, I need a job.  I’ll do pretty much anything.  Just say the word.  Need some weed?  Just say the word.  Need somebody to hang out at your place and play songs on an acoustic guitar?  Let’s rock.

Here are some Haikus about Axl:

Some branches can bend.

When others can only break.

Axl Rose got fat.

Silverback Axl,

All alone in your castle.

Won every battle…

Listen, Axl Rose:

It doesn’t work without Slash.

Go call him right now.

The Specifics:

The Honorable DHC & The Jasper Dickson Revue
Saturday September 4th 2010 7pm-9pm @

The Silverlake Lounge:

2906 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles CA 90026

Alex Volz’s Birthday Show This Wednesday at All Star Lanes in Eagle Rock!

From the lips of Mr. Alex Volz:

Come celebrate my birthday and help raise money for 826LA (The Echo Park Time Travel Mart). I’ll play some super sweet rock n’ roll, you can drink some cheap beers, and then we can all bowl together.

8:00… I’ll play some acoustic songs with 826 stalwart, LAUREN ROCK. It’s not the kind of music I usually play. What the fuck is a “Neko Case” anyways? Your guess is as good as mine!

9:00… My band, THE ROCK N’ ROLL, will perform a set of my favorite songs, including hits from Chuck Berry, Tom Petty, Guns N’ Roses and Jay-Z.

10:00… JASPER DICKSON will slowly unbutton his shirt while crooning tender, poetic ballads about the women he’s slept with. I’ll be playing the lead guitar, but let’s face it ladies, your eyes will be on Jasper.

!!!!!***PLUS***!!!!!!

The infamously short-lived super group FUCK CITY will reunite for ONE NIGHT ONLY! ONE SONG ONLY!

NO COVER!
$12 PITCHERS OF PABST!!
$4/PERSON BOWLING!!!

ALL STAR BOWLING CENTER
4459 Eagle Rock Blvd.
Los Angeles CA 90041

… and for those of you who don’t know 826 & the Echo Park Time Travel Mart, check out their site. they’re a super cool group that teaches kids about creative writing…

http://www.826la.org/

Are you ready for some Majestic Rock N’ Roll?

RoboCop certainly is…

That’s right, Super Sweet Saturday approaches this August 7th. First off and hands down this is going to be THE BEST Super Saturday yet! Our special guest this week is the fabulous Voodoo Fix. These guys are fantastic. Blues rock to the core and they garuntee to satisfy all your aural fixation needs.

As always this show is 100% free.

I repeat this is not a Saturday to miss. There will be drinking, dancing and extreme merriment as always, so come lay down the foundation of your Saturday night with us and let’s get decadent.

If it were all an equation it would look like this:

((Free show + Cheap Drinks) X (The JDR + The Voodoo Fix + Cheap Drinks) – Usual LA bullshit) X (A room packed full of the best people you’ll meet + Cheap Drinks – The weird RoboCop poster) X (Wardrobe malfunctions galore + easy parking) X (ROCK N’ ROLL + Alex Volz’s Beard) = Super Sweet Saturdays!

Damn… that’s the most math I’ve done all year…

Too bad that’s not really math it’s just common sense!

p.s. if you have writing experience, contact me IMMEDIATELY as I should no longer be allowed to create these postings.

-Made with all natural ingredients, 12 Fl. Oz.-

The Specifics:

Saturday August 7th  7pm – 9pm
@ The Silverlake Lounge:  2906 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA

100% FREE

Click HERE to RSVP on Facebook.

Axl’s suing his former business manager for sabotaging Chinese Democracy and trying to reunite the real members of Guns N’ Roses.  I know… to anyone who’s not Axl Rose, that would seem like the responsible thing for a business manager to do.

But here’s where it gets interesting:  in addition to managing artists, Irving Azoff also owns TicketMaster and Live Nation, which pretty much means he owns concerts in America.

Axl’s arguing Azoff now rules a monopoly and is unfairly controlling both ends of the market.  He claims Azoff can use his power over venues and North American tours to bully artists in creative and business disputes.

For the last 16 years, Axl’s been a sort of perpetual disappointment machine.  There aren’t many people left who are rooting for Axl Rose anymore.  But killing TicketMater may be the one thing awesome enough to redeem him.

Whatever happens, it’ll definitely be more interesting than his lawsuit against Dr. Pepper.  According to Axl, they too tried to sabotage the release of Chinese Democracy. But enough about Axl…

In other news, there’s a buy-one-get-one-free special on Ball Park wieners at the Ralph’s in Koreatown.  I have a place to stay for the next week.  Oh, and my friend Zack told me some really funny jokes the other day.

Here’s a cool new picture of my niece.  Don’t worry, she’s totally safe.  Her parents ate all the Vicodin before they let her play with the empty bottles.

First and Hope is a new jazz club/restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. When you walk into this place you automatically feel like you’re Humphrey Bogart getting the bird’s eye lowdown on some long winded caper. Everything is 20′s style. Loungey. Swanky. Classy. Sexy. Smooth. Sensual… FOCUS JASPER! sorry, too many Naty Lights (speaking of classy)…

We’ve got one HELL of a show for you!
Starting it off will be the soulful incantations of my man, singer songwriter extrodinaire and long time friend: Travis Peery.
http://www.travispeery.com/

Next, The Hot Nothing will be performing, releasing, performing and giving away their brand spankin’ new, hot off the press debut EP: “The Hot Nothing”. Perfect opportunity to celebrate the first album release with who will prove themselves to be one of the biggest movers and shakers in Los Angeles.
http://www.thehotnothing.com/

And finally the good ole’ Jasper Dickson Revue has a special treat for ya as well. We will be performing a stripped down style show (musically speaking of course) with special guest Cellist, Clay McKinney coming all the way from Montgomery, Alabama. ONE NIGHT ONLY!
http://www.jasperdickson.com/

http://www.firstandhope.com/ for more info.

Music will be from 8pm – 11pm and as always it is completely FREE! Rock N’ Roll!!!!

Batteries Not Included.

The Specifics:

Where: 2906 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles (The Silverlake Lounge)
When: Saturday July 3rd. 7-9pm.
Who: The Hot Nothing and The Jasper Dickson Revue
Why: 100% Free and the best Jazz and Rock N’ Roll you will hear Goddamnit!!
How: How can you say no?!